Adam Auslund was a long time intern for multiple shows on the FOX Sports Network, but has now found his place, and a job, working for The Petros and Money Show.
Originally from Nor Cal, he’s been described as a bitter, broken sports fan ever since he experienced the rare "Hat Trick of Death" where all 3 of his teams (Sacramento Kings, San Francisco Giants and Carolina Panthers) all lost their respective sports’ championship game in the short span of a year and a half.
Adam now tries to look at sports from a less serious, more irreverent perspective, because that’s what helps bury the pain and keep him sober.
It's been a while. Perhaps I've been a little busy. A little lazy. A little annoyed with life and people and relationships and dating and blah, blah, blah, you get it. Adam is bitching about some girl situation, again. Yes...yes I am. But enough about me and my problems (that I'm including in a sports blog where people are expecting actual sports content, consistently) let's focus for a second on a player who should be celebrated and has been overlooked-- for really his entire career.
I'm calling him the "Yen Queinn" of NFL receivers. Remember the gymnist/countortunist from "Ocean's 11" BEFORE the terrible sequals where director Steven Soderberg assumed he could just overwhelm us with enough star actors that we'd suck down any inane plot line like it was Sunny D (although i always wanted the purple stuff). Well, the receiver I'm talking about has that type of body control and could definetely fit himself inside a gatorade cooler on the sidelines to awkwardly spill on the coach after a big win-- if needed.
And regarding his hands, let's just say if your baby was falling out of the Good Year blimp above the staduim and you could only pick one player to try and cradle it (yeah i called your child an "it"), with one hand, while moving the opposite direction, it's this guy.
Here's a few hints.
His team is still in the playoffs...
Plays for the Patriots...
Is wearing Chad Johnson's old number...
YES! It's Brandon Llloyd:
Sure he's only had one single thousand yard season as a pro, but damn it, these mixtapes with some of his greatest catches can at least fool you into thinking he's a first ballot hall of famer for a second, or twelve minutes and fourteen seconds, to be exact.
No, he didn't end up being the next Jerry Rice like some 49er fans thought when he first came on the scene, BUT he had a touchdown catch last week and will most likely be a big factor if the Patriots end up winning it all.